Someone New

I met the most incredible man and the best part is that he has an relationship with Christ. He is kind, joyful, peaceful, long suffering, goodness, faithful, gentle, and has self control. As far as the physical it is amazing, he is about 5'9 peanut butter brown skin, with the sexiest dimples in the world. I have been married before so I find it hard to connect with men at times, sometimes I ponder are my needs too much. Where we may go from here I have no idea, but I am definitely taken with him. I love a man that loves God and it is evident in his life. Nothing missing and nothing broken.

Change

My life is changing in every direction right now. My supervisor at my Air Force job is retiring on Friday, he is the best example of a man. I will soon find out what a day at work is like with him. He has the gentle, quiet spirit, and is extremely slow to speak but always quick to listen. I can share the good, bad, and the ugly with him. He rejoices with me in y victories and comforts me in my sad times. His correction is stern but not rude. On my civilian job my boss was fired just a few days ago, apparently a lot of management level responsibility matters where not cared for appropriately. I thought I had God had placed all these strong people around me, as I glance at their empty chairs, I know God is still with me loving my extravagantly. People are only in ours lives for a reason and a season. But God prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. The Lord is my God, who shall I fear. I just want to know the height,depth, and the width of the love of God. I serve a King that paid the greatest randsome every known to man.

Woman's Worth

These days men seem to only be attracted to body without even beginning to know the soul of me. I am so much more worth the size of my bust, waist, butt, and hips. I am a woman fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God. I do not mind a compliment but I would rather be thought of as a smart woman than a beautiful woman, love more for the way I think and feel than appearances. These features only last so long, after babies and life's journey my body will then change and I want someone who is captivated every time I step in the room, every time I gaze in his eyes. My looks do not determine my character. T.D. Jakes says, "The greater part of her attractiveness lies within; it wells up from the inside and finds an appropriate creative expression on the outside." In 1 Peter 3:4 says, the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit has a great price in the sight of God.

Joyful Disposition

I believe happiness last for a moment but joyfulness lasts a lifetime. People often ask me why do I smile so much. The truth is most of the time I don't even know I am smiling. I try to mediate on the good virtues things that are profitable to the soul. Philipians 4:8 insturcts us to focus on the things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and anything praiseworthy. I am certainly a product of atmosphere I was raised in a home full of laughter and I was often allowed to share my opinion and ideas in which made me have not an ounce of shyness. This article on happiness reflects helping others make us happy and visa verse http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/happinessproject/. We are to be helpers one to another and praying for one another when one is too weak. Aaron and Joshua held up Moses arms when he was too tired. David and Johnathan were best friends even though Johnathan's father sought to kill David. Hamlet's quote, "to be or not to be, that is the question". I chose happiness in life! Greater is he who lives in me, than he that lives in the world (1 John 4:4)

Love and Happiness

I was in love with the same man for five years, he was my everything. We embarked on the great journey of young adulthood. We went everywhere and did everything together, he consumed the person I was. When we apart I always thought of him. We got married early, and the relationship I thought was so solid in foundation begin to fall. All common goal was lost I pursued a college and he pursed alcohol, gambling and cheating. He was not ready to commit, but it was too late we had been married for three years and I was getting depressed. I cried at night and smiled in the day. I decided to divorce him, as we began to live separate lives I missed him. This loss was inevitable part of my journey of life for all of us. Their was no quick relief program that make grief less painful. My way out was God, he was my shield, carrying all my worries and fears. I become a avid reader of the bible in search for something greater and I found it. Great is God's mercy toward me. When we mess up he still love me the same, under all conditions and no contract stipulations.

Schedule Crazy

I have had a extremely busy schedule the past few weeks! Sixteen hour days, nineteen consistent days. We have been having an inspection on base to ensure that we can deploy troops in a fast but accurate manner. I was deployed last summer and it seemed like we just packed ugly clothes that we wold never wear and go hand out overseas for a couple of months. I was so wrong so much preparation goes into deploying troops. During the inspection I was working in the Air transportation office ensuring all baggage weights were correct to maintain proper loading for the aircraft. Sometimes when I work in the office behind a desk, I forget I am there to make sure the airplanes stay in the sky. I wonder why our jobs seems so insignificant to us at times. But when the step back and look at the big picture every single detail matters. I love Air Force aircraft's, from Global Hawk, C-5, B-52, and E-3.

Blessed

Jesus is the sweetest name I know. I am blessed in the city and blessed in the field. After Valentine's Day I was a little down in spirits my holiday did not go as planned. My sweety which lives in Georgia completely show noe holiday lovers emotion. I went to Baton Rouge to visit my cousin who was down there training for a Poeye's chicken manger. My best friend Shawna and I drove down there and really explored the city we got our nails done, went to two malls, and ate at tjis decilious restuarant called the Fishbone. It was great right when you think nobody cares God shows himself strong and makes me fill loved only in his special way. He loves me so specially different, by knowing what I need before i ask.

LOVE

Agape love is the unconditional love that God demonstrates to us. Philo love is fond love that has no sacrifice that we have for our family and friends. Eros love is exotic lust induced gratification we show our significant others. I think love is most challenging thing we do in this life. Love is suppose to hold no records of wrong doings. But, we as human being are fully capable of forgiving, but we are not capable of forgetting. I read a book called The Five Love Languages and it revealed five specific ways people show and give love. My personal love language is quality time, I believe time is of the essence and time is money so if you want to spend time with me it show me affection. But there is no greater love than the love that was shown the day on Calvary when Christ bore all my sins and sickness on the cross. I strive to be like him, slow to speak and humble in spirit. Today as we celebrate love on Valentine's Day remember the best love letter are in the letters written in red in your bible.

My Cup Runs Over

As we face this recession and some people call it a depression. I have no fear. When American one of the most bountiful lands in the world pushes God out of schools where children are molded into adults. So now we have to take precautions of school terrorism rather just praying together. The prayer of agreement is one of the most powerful tools God has given us. Even Jesus himself prayed in the garden before we went to the cross. Prayer also calls us to crucify our flesh and fast to hear the voice of God. When you have no idea what else to do and you run out of words to say just pray. I guarantee the Father God hears you when no one else cares.

Here I am

WOW! I can not believe we are about to be in the second month of 2009, January went so fast. Time does fly when you are having fun. The most exciting thing happen to me this week. I applied for a job at the White House working with the personal staff to the president. I have to wait a while for the outcome but, I remain steadfast and prayerful. I am kind of enjoying the blogging it lets me get all my thoughts out without personal crictism. I have learned so much in this class already, I really enjoyed the CNF readings they encourage me to write and the memoir made me tap into all kinds of feelings and emotions.

It's a rainy Saturday

Well I keep a busy schedule, I rarely ever sleep in even on vacation. There is always something to do, see, and mediation time is a must for me. I lifted weights this morning and run a little over three miles. I am so excited I have been training hard since last spring on just me physical fit. I took my Air Force PT test yesterday and scored 90.25 percent. I was so proud! In the bible in Ecclesiastes 9:11 it says," The race is not given to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread the the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to the man on skill. But a time and chance happen to all of them." I am striving for the mark of the higher calling daily. I work hard, play hard, and pray hard trying to hear the direction of my destiny. I feed my body and spirit daily.